Join our club

Clubs. Actual clubs. Clubs you made when you were little and only your one friend, sister and the cat joined. Just me? Okay this might be painful then …

1. Art Club

I was convinced I was going to be an artist. I LOVED art attack, Smart and generally making an artistic mess. I didn’t want to play by the artistic rules. And this might the reason I’m not actually an artist now. But I made up an art club. And it had members. Yes, MEMBERS. My sister and my best friend. We were going to make a bookmark, ease them in. I’d made the ‘one I prepared earlier’ so they had something to aspire to, and the materials were good to go. However. It all went wrong. I became teacher and they laughed. They had to leave I said. So art club was just myself and my cat. My cat didn’t even want to be there. No wonder I was such a weirdo kid. The club fizzled out and I did ‘art club’ solo. I didn’t need them anyway, right? Wrong. (Still, art club lives on in 2012 (well 2009, student days …))

2. The Brambly Hedge Club

This is a genuine thing. You don’t know what Brambly Hedge is? Of course you don’t. Because like all mine and my sister’s clubs, it is weird. I can’t actually claim to be the leader of this one. My twin sister was the number one fan. I’m not even sure what we did at the “club”, but it ran for a good few weeks (the longest of our ventures). My sister even put it on hold when I went on Brownie camp. How were we not bullied?

3. Mark Owen fan club

I can’t even believe I’m admitting to this one. It ranks around nine on the embarrassment scale. Okay, ten. The club involved cutting out pictures of Mark Owen and sticking them in an album. Sometimes we listed to Take That and sometimes we even talked about the other members. How wrong we got it. Gary Barlow, hello.

4. Spice girls fan club (aka the birth of Flame)

Take That split up and I thought I would be sadder than I was. I wasn’t that sad. Maybe about Mark Owen. Then Spice Girls came along and my friends, sister and I, were happy again. So happy we even made up our own girl group called Flame. We had one song which we stole the melody from another well known song. Our one song was called ‘Flame’ and we even did our own ‘photo shoot’. Losers. But at least we were actual children. We also had our own clubhouse (things had got bigger a few years down the line) in the form of a garden shed. Then we went to secondary school and realised we needed to be cooler. Much cooler.

(the lyrics are too embarrassing to share)


There are probably other ventures and clubs I’m forgetting about. Like a cat club. Maybe I did make this? (everyday was in one way or another a cat club …) Only trained professionals are qualified to locate the answer to this now.

What kind of clubs did you make?

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6 thoughts on “Join our club

  1. Julia Roberts says:

    Oh go on – do share (the lyrics)!!! I don’t recall many clubs, but I did build loads of dens from old blankets, the wooden clothes airer and anything else I could lay my hands on!!

  2. Chloe Chittenden says:

    Hilarious! Is Brambly Hedge Club still going? I want to join! I loved those books. I was in some of the crappest clubs know to man. There was The Helpful Club, which I formed with some of the girls on my street. We knocked on people’s doors and asked weary mums ‘Can we help you?’ We also made rose petal perfume and sold it in street sales giving all the ‘profits’ to charity. We got in our local paper! I was also in the Gladiators’ Fan Club circa 1993.

    • kathryn_shhh says:

      Haha, unfortunately not. Though my sister and I both have a lot of spare time now…

      The helpful club sounds amazing! I would have bought that rose petal perfume. I’m incredibly jealous of the Gladiators Fan Club. The closest we got to that is arming ourselves with cushions and running from sofa-to-sofa screaming, ‘On your marks, get set, GO!’

  3. Lucy says:

    Spelling! Oh my god the shame of that note. I do love the P.S. though – sums me up

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